بسم الله وعلى ملة رسول الله
(In the name of God and on the religion of the Messenger of God)
Saying this they lowered me to the tiny dark room and each of them took a fistful of sand and threw it on me. I felt, the one who loved me more could only take a little bit of sand and they threw it slower compared to others to cover my dead self (It’s only now I realize why Sayyidatna Fatma asked the companions how could they throw sand to cover the Blessed Prophet’s Body after He passed Away) . But eventually even my closest ones left me and I am now alone in the grave. It was pitch black all around and all I could feel was the smell of the sand as the wall was so close to my face. I tried to move around just to realize that the grave was so small and I couldn’t even change my posture with its four walls hugging me so tight.
Suddenly I heard some footsteps, even though it sounded frightening It was in a way relieving to have some company in this new little house of mine. It was the angels who we only heard about in the previous life. How true was Sayyidina Ali’s words, People are asleep and only when they die, they wake up.
They showed me a radiant face and asked me Who it is. (Let me pause for a moment and tell you, this is the most significant moment in the grave. You are questioned of your level of awareness of the Beloved Prophet of Allah and how you reply to this question will pretty much decide the fate of your everlasting future. There are those who will say I don’t know who it is, those who say he was the Prophet of Arabia as a historic figure, He was the best of Creation ..etc depending on their awareness of Him (sa))
I tried to answer in one word the blessed name of the Prophet SA and realized it’s not as easy as it seemed, my voice was not coming out and I had no one to help. It just flashed in my heart the only one who can save me from this is the Master of creation Himself. I closed my eyes and from the depths of my heart in that pitiful helpless state, I called out to Him with all the yearning
Yaaa Rasulullah ..
I was busy when I was alive, I never had time to mention Your blessed name or recite salawat upon You. Now I am a beggar at your door, helpless and broken, these angels are asking me of Your blessed self.
Forgive me Yaa Rasulullah, I never could understand the significance of Your love and Your yearning for us, neither could I make use of the time, health, youth and life that Your Lord gave me in a way pleasing to you and in following your traditions.
Its only after going through the pangs of death I realized how painful it really was Ya Rasulullah, it’s only then I realized how much you loved me and the whole ummah. In our lives even if it was a prick of a thorn or a small wound in our body we wished for that pain to be taken away from us , yet even at the time of your Wafath you prayed to Allah , if death is so painful to give pain of the whole Ummah to you. Ya Rasulullah , I don’t deserve forgiveness just for ignoring this one act of love alone, let alone the thousands of other acts of kindness you have shown to us. Yet I am hopeful..
I complain of my inability to describe you Ya Sayyidi, even if one could praise you in the most eloquent language and in the most perfect manner how can these angels or any other creation really comprehend your station.
Can an artist fully understand the work of a better artist, can a scientist fully comprehend the work of a better scientist, No! he can just admire it to the limits of his own capacity, appreciating what he doesn’t understand is probably more than what he understood.
Even if thousands of such artists, scientists and strategists come together to produce great works of art or science, can they come up with a new sense on top of the five senses, can they create or even imagine a new element on top of the four elements, can they think of an alternative shape for the human body or any other living or non-living beings around them, if not anything can they at least stop death..? This leaves us with absolutely no doubts with the fact that, all the things we proudly claim as our inventions in this world are incremental innovations or mere enhancements of the work of The Original Innovator ( Al Badee’) .
Look at millions of fishes in the sea, birds in the sky, animals in the forest and stars in the universe. All of them are created out of nothing with freshly unique colour, shape and smell. When we zoom out to the vastness of the universe or zoom in to the granularity our own body, we are humbled of our helplessness to understand the multiplicity of creation and the Greatness of its Creator, leave alone the unseen worlds of the angels and spirits!
How can we then comprehend your station who is the Best of creation Yaa Rasulallah
Among all known and unknown things and in all the seen and unseen worlds, you are the best of Creation. You are the Masterpiece of The Master Creator Himself.
This realization has come to me only in this late hour Yaa Rasulullah. Forgive me for my shortcomings. Forgive me for not appreciating you as I should have, for now I realize, appreciation of the art is the best form of appreciation of the Artist.
Even after being in such a lofty place, you yearned for each one of us much more than how much we yearned for You.
We are ashamed of ourselves Ya Rasulullah, even the snake in its hole longed to meet you, the dove and the spider strove to help you, stones greeted you, clouds covered you, the tree trunk cried of your separation, the whole of creation, angels and Allah Himself send salawat upon you. Its only me who fell short of this, forgive me ya Raulullah.
Through you we were blessed with the Quran, You split the moon when they challenged you to show a miracle , you fed hundreds with just a handful of food, stones were pelted at your blessed body yet You forgave them when you had the power to crush them between the mountains, you quenched the thirsty with blessed flowing water from your fingers, the trees walked upon your instruction, even animals and birds testified to your Prophecy and when you were sad at the loss of your blessed wife Sayyidatna Khadija, Allah consoled you by bringing you to Himself through the blessed night journey. When Allah Himself testifies you are at a lofty station of character, how does this sinner even try to comprehend who you are. All I hope for is to be covered in that mercy as the Lord of the worlds say about you
وَمَا أَرْسَلْنَاكَ إِلَّا رَحْمَةً لِلْعَالَمِينَ
You are not sent but as a Mercy to the whole worlds
I am thankful to Allah for making me amongst your Ummah. And in complaining to you of my helplessness I fear not the involvement of shirk. On the day of Judgement when all the prophets turn people away, they will not dare go to Allah directly, even those who complain against excessive love for you will come begging to you. And that’s only when your true station will be revealed, and there you will be prostrating, how can this little I describe that prostration.
A prostration of Love.
A symbol of love from you to the Creator, and
A symbol of love from you to the rest of creation
When that love exceeds all bounds it will be said to you
Raise Your Head, You will be given until you are pleased.
Such an offer has never been given to anyone, nor will ever be given.
How then, Can I not be hopeful to be a part of that all enveloping love of yours Ya Rasulullah. Your love for me far outweighs my sins and I, all who are reading this, who taught us and all of us your ummah just hope to be protected from the flame with Your Blessed Hands and even though we deserve not, we dream of your companionship
All I beg to Allah at this moment is to conceal our sins from you Yaa Sayyidi, so when we meet you there are no stains in us that cause you pain.
Allow me permissions to express my inability to the angels to describe you Ya Sayyidi and to add if they punish me my Beloved Prophet might feel the pain and if you leave me He will be happy as I am from His Blessed Ummati. “How often You call upon Your Lord with this supplication…”
Ummati Ummati Ummati
When I opened my eyes with this renewed confidence to answer, the angels had already left. It appeared as if they heard the conversation for there were drops of tears glowing like pearls, the grave was no more a dark hole but something you can’t yet comprehend.
إِنَّ بَيْتًا أَنْتَ سَاكِنُهُ… لَيْسَ مُحْتَاجًا إِلَى السُّرُجَ
(The house you live in… does not need a saddle of light)
May Allah shower as much salawat upon you continually according to His love for you and your Love for Him